Results.

Alright,results are all back,all at once.
Got so flabbergasted when i received my chinese results.
No,i din't fail,but i din't do as well as expected. I dissapointed myself.
I gotten the second position in class for chinese,i lose just by that freaking hell one mark.
I lost to vivien. If only i could done better in my Oral for chinese,that'd be great. I could still maintain my position in class already then. But sadly,i din't manage to. So,whatever. Forget it,do better for next time round then.

Overall,i passed all my subjects.
Yes,all. No doubts. But i doubt myself,Duh.
I fucking passed all,however. It's all a borderline passing.Do you know how freak it is ?Mathematics,i flunk badly for paper 2.I screw paper two up. Very badly done. I dissapoint not only myself,but also Ms Ng. Arghh,whatever. -.-

This is my results,a badly done one,despite passing all,yet i'm not happy at all :

English : 52% ;C6
Combine Humanities : 60%;B4
Mathematics : 54.5%;C5
Combine science : 58%;C5
Chinese : 69%;B3
Design & Tech : 50%;C6

Can i like bang my head hard on the wall & die off? Shitxz you know. The results are so shamful & i feel so ashame of myself. I din't do as well as expected. I find emp reasons to convince myself Like ,i did very well already,i had did my best & moreover,not to forget,i'm sick for the whole entire 1 week during exams. I did very well already. But no,it's getting nowhere into my head. It's more of like,i'm not putting in enough effort. I don't feel happy at all,not happy at all. I feel so ashame of myself.

I could have done better than this,much more than as expected,but no. People who are usually not studying are getting better grades than i do.

What a bitch am i. I can fuck off & die,seriously. :(

Okay,on the other hand. I improve in my science. Both physics & chemistry. Thanks god,i improved quite alot i must say. Gotta put in more hard work already,must! :) Alright,i shall stop self-demoralising already. Since everything is to be this way,then i shall look up to it & face it. It's reality that i've gotta face,accecpt the fact & do better for the next coming exams. :) Jiayous. :D

Oh yes,i'm at chapter 16 of Abandoned already. The book is really intersting,very. I almost cried y'know. That bastard 'daddy' of hers,made her to do blowjob for him. Please,do you know how disgusting it is? She's less than the age of seven just then. She's still struggling to know what is it all about that he kept telling her to do,she knew it was dirty,but she dare not defy his 'daddy' so afraid that anything she say might put him on an anger again & his fist laying on her face all over again.

I feel so sad when i read the book. She's a strong girl i must say. I pity her a lot & also i really look up on her a lot too. Her never die spirt makes me feel like she's like my role model.

Alright alright,maybe i'll be going to library with baby to do his Design & Technology & kumon's paper. & i'm now,going off to continue with my reading. Bye. :)



Am i one of those,or am i not?
i start to feel like i'm not in that _____ anymore.
I feel so much like leaving,storming out.
But i don't wish to speak a word.
I don't wanna feel the hurt.
I know ,i know i'm running away from reality.
But i can't afford to face up to the facts.
I'm weak,yes i'm. I'm not as strong as you think. Am not at all.
You're all so wrong. People who use to know me best don't seems to understand me any longer. People who use to be my very good friend don't seems to be as closer as before. People who 'used to be are' not 'used to be' , now. People says,every good things comes to an end,every good things has an end to it. When will mine end?