No,you don't know what he actually feels like.

No,you don't know how it actually really felt like.
why are problems coming up one after another?
why are problems coming up one after another?
When will it gonna stop? I just needa it to stop asap,please.
I'm sick & tired of it,i'm getting weary alrd. Stop everything for me please.

Well,today is pretty alright. Drop the problem yesterday & everything will be fine for me,definitely. BUT!That fucking occurances stupidly occure just at night. Like,fuck la! Why night? I can't fucking get to sleep immediately no matter how much i wanted. Well,perhaps fate doesn't want me to run away from reality that i've gotta face. It's really stupid to run away from reality,yet. It's much more stupid to face up bravely toward reality,mainly it's because,you'll get much more hurt than you could have expected. That's worst.

I din't rather not know or to came across that stupidly tag that made me , oh-you're-so-great! you-did-a-good-job! stuffs like that. This is so,oh-yeah-like-as-if-you-could-tolerate-it,no-i-ain't-that-great. Like..you understand? This is the stupiest thing i never wanna ever came across about. Mainly,it'd not only make me sad,it also make me feel so foolish & stupid,utterly.

Yesterday,i wish i could delete it away from my mind. Reminding myself of those "stupid silly stuffs" make me so, hey-you're-petty-idiot,thing you know? I don't like this kindda of feelings,it's really really hard to tolerate. Yeah,although i know,it's just a simple & stupid tag,but it somehow make my heart break into two big pieces. The feeling,it's like you never ever came across before,do you understand? & i hated you from top to bottom right at the moment. It's not that i really wish or wanna kick up that big fuss,i did try to control it. But do you fucking know how painful it's to acutally tolerate & swallow things down on my own? I can tell you now,it's uber painful & uneasy. I don't wish to cry anymore,i don't wanna shed anymore tears,cause i'm totally sick & tired of tears rolling down my cheeks,sitting at a coner,crying all alone like it's of nobody's business. It's the stupiest thing a girl can ever do. The foolishest thing you could ever thought. Well,i know guys won't understand sucha 'chimology' thingo. Forget it,you guys won't understand anyway.

This could be my whole chuck of rubbish,if you think it's. Don't comment about it,it's my blog,& i've got my own say,you're just , oh-you've-got-no-say-and-please-shut-up person. So kindly shut your ass up if you don't have anything nice to comment on it about.

Well,I don't blame you & stop blaming yourself. I've got up to no use at this point of time to actually repriment yourself till like you're not even worth a single cent when you actually worth alot in your parents eyes. Just because of a me,you critizes youself till this sate,it ain't worth anyway. Things have happened anyway,you can't rewind back time no matter how much money you had,you could never buy the precious moment you wanted back the most. Gone means gone. & now it's goes the same here. The incident already took place & i've finished throwing my oh-you're-so-pity tantrum,it's time for me to stop that stupid missy act,cause i'm no longer on,long long time ago. Yes,i may be a spoilt,but you can't change the fact that i'm one,cause that's the fact you can't change. I've already did my best,i've tried my very best to stop throwing my tantrum around nowadays. If it was in the past,i would have gone much more wilder than you could have imagine.

I've though too great about myself. Always i thought i could stop all those missy tantrums & being so wildful. Yes,i admit i do still have my tantrums & attitude,but i'm really trying hard to change now. Things ain't the same as i thought it was in the past. I gotta bring myself to the presence,out of the past. I gotta face up reality,although it's rather hard to accept,but i've no choice but i've gotta. I needa more time than anyone elses need. I needa more care & concern than others did although i always thought that i could survive my own without a single care & concern.

But now,you don't see the point of it. You're purely going on the way you used to be in the past. I'm somehow left out in your life although you kept emphazing ,i-mention-about-you-to-who-and-who-everyday-it's-true-and-it's-up-to-you-to-choose-whether-to-believe-me-not. this sorts of thing. But you never know,i'm at the back for your shadow,you said you needed me in your life,but i can't see the point of it. Yes,i do still believe you,& stop being so mean to yourself,it won't help anyway. It will only worsen our relationship. It's already facing so much of ups & downs,so stop all those self-demoralising words/phrases already. & now,it's not about promises being fulfilled not,it's about,do you actually take those promises to heart & do you actually really went to remember it,stuffs like that. It's not about you don't wanna give my promises next time round just because of what-so-ever reasons behind it. I don't want to know,i just needa know what i really wanted to know. Do you actually take what i say into account?

As i've said,it happened yesterday. & the yesterday which is 24th of March 2008,don't exist in my calender anymore. I've have been cleanly clean off my mind & memory. I don't remember a single shit. I just remember,i needa remind myself. I'm still the happy me,the Felicia Toh Ying Hui that nobody can ever beat me down anymore. I'm not the weakest,yet not the strongest. Just trying to put up a brave front infront of everyone. Also,i wanna stop being so stupid & foolish to cry behind the screen. It's the most most most most stupidest thing i could ever ever ever thought of.

Well,i guess it's rather emo emo now. Oh-no-i'm-not! I'm perfectly fine( i ain't sure if i'm deciving myself,well who cares!? ) now. I'm neither a skin lost or flesh lost,so i must stop those emo emo post now! Right now,this moment,FELICIATOHYINGHUI! >:)